Orgasm

Simple Definition of Orgasm

  the point during sexual activity when sexual pleasure is strongest

Full Definition of Orgasm

intense or paroxysmal excitement; especially:  an explosive discharge of neuromuscular tensions at the height of sexual arousal that is usually accompanied by the ejaculation of semen in the male and by vaginal contractions in the female

Female Orgasms: Myths and Facts

Anorgasmia

Definition: Anorgasmia is an inability to reach orgasm and is thought to occur in about 10% of women. Anorgasmia may be either primary (the woman has never been able to reach an orgasm by any means) or secondary (an orgasm was experienced at some point in the past). It may also be global (orgasm is not experienced by any means) or situational (orgasm may be experienced in certain sexual situations but not others; for example, with manual stimulation but not with intercourse).

Some Myths Regarding Female Orgasms

There are several myths regarding orgasm. These myths can sometimes cause problems for women and their partners.

Myth:

An orgasm is always an earth-moving experience and there is something wrong with a woman if she is unable to reach orgasm.

Fact:

Some women have orgasms and don’t know it. Some women do not experience orgasm in the sense of feeling their pelvic floor muscles contract. They do however reach a peak of arousal after which they feel very relaxed and contented, the same feelings other women experience after orgasm. By contrast, women who get very aroused and do not experience orgasm will sometimes feel “nervous” or “edgy” or even an aching discomfort in their pelvis.

Myth:

“Normal” women reach orgasm through intercourse.

Fact:

Only about a third of women experience orgasm regularly during intercourse. A third can reach orgasm with intercourse but need extra stimulation. A third never achieve orgasm during intercourse but can by manual and oral stimulation. Having orgasms by means other than intercourse is a normal variation of female sexuality. In the past, people thought that “mature” women had their orgasms with intercourse; you will sometimes run across an older book that has this view. However, laboratory studies in the 1960’s showed that an orgasm is an orgasm no matter which way you obtain it. How a woman reaches an orgasm has nothing to do with her mental health or emotional maturity.

Myth:

Inability to reach orgasm, or anorgasmia means a woman is “frigid” or that there is something seriously wrong with her or her relationship.

Fact:

Women who were able to have orgasms in the past but can no longer do so may be suffering from a medical problem or a side effect from medication.

Women who have never had an orgasm may never have learned what type and duration of stimulation they need.

Myth:

If a woman cannot reach orgasm, then her partner is not a skillful lover.

Fact:

While there are many ways a loving partner can help a woman reach orgasm, in the end, a woman is responsible for her own sexual pleasure. That does not mean her partner should not be involved. Communication between partners is very important. It is up to the woman to inform her partner her likes and dislikes in their love making.

Myth:

A woman has to have an orgasm in order to enjoy sex. This myth seems to be more common among men than among women.

Fact:

Many women enjoy the closeness and physical intimacy of sex and are satisfied even if they do not, or do not always, have an orgasm.

What can you do?
Relax

It is possible to try too hard. Focus on enjoying the process, not on whether or not you will have an orgasm.

Communicate

Communicate with your partner your preferences when it comes to sex. Your partner cannot read your mind.

Encourage

If you or your partner are doing something pleasurable, encourage your mate to continue.

Enjoy

Learn to enjoy and feel comfortable with your sexuality. Your current inability to have an orgasm is not a reflection of your femininity, your psychological or emotional health. Putting yourself down just makes it that much more difficult.

Fantasize

Some women have trouble concentrating during sex. If that is the case, you may wish to fantasize, i.e., thinking about something sexual may excite you and may reduce negative emotions. If you feel that you are very close to achieving an orgasm, alternate tightening and relaxing your pelvic floor muscles. This may sometimes trigger a real orgasm.

Arouse

For some couples, love making ends once the man ejaculates. Often, at this point the woman is very aroused. If this is the case, you might ask your partner to continue stimulating you with his hands or his mouth once he is finished. Some women feel uncomfortable doing this, thinking that this would be selfish or that their partner would be bored. In fact, your partner may enjoy giving you pleasure. Rather than being selfish, you are giving your partner the chance to please you.

Male Orgasms: Myths and Facts

How Premature Is Premature Ejaculation?

The possibilities for exploring a woman’s erogenous zones may be tremendously exciting — which leads to another source of sex myth and male anxiety: How long can I last? And how long should I be able to last?

Premature ejaculation is “the most common form of sexual dysfunction in younger men” according to Ira Sharlip, and its prevalence is around 20% to 30% in men of all ages.

The medical method of determining premature ejaculation is called “intra vaginal ejaculatory latency time” (IELT), a stopwatch-timed duration measured from the beginning of vaginal penetration until ejaculation occurs. However, Sharlip adds, this quantitative measure doesn’t tell the whole story: “There are men who ejaculate within a minute but say that they don’t have premature ejaculation. And then on other end of spectrum, there are patients who are able to last for 20 minutes, and they say they do have premature ejaculation.”

In other words, the definition of “premature” may be largely in the eye(or mind) of the beholder, and depends on a man’s sexual satisfaction and his perception of his ability to control when ejaculation occurs.

The Mythical Multiple Orgasm for Men

While multiple male orgasm is possible anywhere two or more men are gathered and talking, actual male multiple orgasm is another story. Unlike the more established phenomenon of female multiple orgasm, men’s claims of successive climaxes can stray into the realm of sex myth. At the very least, male multiple orgasm is difficult to verify and may depend on the definition of orgasm.

What’s the average penis size?

So what, exactly, constitutes a big penis? Let’s whip out some data:

  • The average penis size is between five or six inches. That’s for anerect penis.
  • The flaccid male organ averages around three and a half inches.
  • “It’s a myth that using the penis is the main way to pleasure a woman,” women reaching orgasm about 25% of the time with intercourse, compared with 81% of the time during oral sex.

Sexologist Melissa Jane

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s