It’s never easy when a marriage or significant relationship ends. Whatever the reason for the split—and whether you wanted it or not—the breakup of a relationship can turn your whole world upside down and trigger all sorts of painful and unsettling feelings. But there are plenty of things you can do to get through this difficult time and move on. You can even learn from the experience and grow into a stronger, wiser person.
A divorce or breakup is painful because it represents the loss, not just of the relationship, but also of shared dreams and commitments. Romantic relationships begin on a high note of excitement and hope for the future. When these relationships fail, we experience profound disappointment, stress, and grief.
It can seem like the “end of the world”. Feelings of sadness, depression and anxiety about the future are common. In some cases people can find themselves traumatized and almost unable to move on.
They cannot get themselves to go back to the places that remind them of the relationship while others punish themselves revisiting places the two shared.
Recovering from a breakup or divorce is difficult. However, it’s important to know and to keep reminding yourself that you can and will move on. But healing takes time, so be patient with yourself. Allowing yourself to feel the pain of these losses may be scary. You may fear that your emotions will be too intense to bear, or that you’ll be stuck in a dark place forever. Just remember that grieving is essential to the healing process. The pain of grief is precisely what helps you let go of the old relationship and move on. And no matter how strong your grief, it won’t last forever.
You might feel like being alone, but isolating yourself will only make this time more difficult. Don’t try to get through this on your own. As a relationship counselor and therapist, I have seen the people who come after a breakup seek me out because they want to “get over it”, but do not know how.
Many are ashamed they are not able to “move on”. Based on my “holistic” approach, when I look at a client’s field after a break up, I sometimes see he/she cannot be let go until his/her energetic field has been cleared. Many times in relationships people exchange parts and energy. By clearing a client’s energy field of thoughts, fragments and
their Xs energy, relief can sometimes be found. In other cases, the client is so scared of the future, he/she would rather hold onto heart-ache and pain than face the future alone.
By clearing unhealthy subconscious beliefs about lack of safety and what success is, a client can regroup and refind their ground and center and move forward into a healthy and happy life ahead.
You need a plan of action and now is the time to start living your life again. But first, you need to start the journey towards the healing process.