Coming “Clean” in a Relationship

Romantic relationships can be a lot of fun! The start of a new relationship is nearly always one of the most exciting times, as you each explore one another’s hopes, dreams…….and bodies. But what happens if you want to turn that short-term fling into a longer-term thing? Will those same characteristics you found exciting and different in your romantic partner work long-term? Being a sex therapist and relationship expert, I am faced with these issues quite often which is why I felt the need to address it. It may seem like common sense for most, but obviously not for those who neglect the importance of personal hygiene.

When we meet someone for the first time, we notice how good or bad looking a person is, how stylish or classy or youthful looking the other person is, when it comes to external assessment. One thing that hardly crosses our mind at such time is where he/she stands when it comes to the hygiene level. We almost assume that because a person is well-dressed, wearing branded clothes and sporting branded perfume, the person must be aware of how important cleanliness is. But believe it or not, many newly dating and married couples have had a rude awakening because they discovered the “dirty” side of their partners.

This goes for both men and women. Personal hygiene is important for lots of reasons obviously. If you are in a relationship you are sharing a living space. In the context of an intimate loved one, it is not just sharing in an apartment or a house, it is important as you share a bed as well.

Sex is about sharing our body with someone else. If there is a turn off, it could spell the end of the relationship especially if you smell bad down in the private area. Yes, it’s true. No one wants to eat from a dirty plate and would you serve your guests a rotten meal? Hopefully not, so why would you not think twice before letting him/her between your legs? A quick pat and rinse is not enough and you must make sure to really give your intimate parts a good thorough wash and scrub. Smelling good is a turn on for everyone and shows that you respect and care about yourself. Odor is the biggest turn off and can ruin a relationship. No one wants to be with someone who stinks.

Having a good standard of cleanliness is a must for maintaining health. It prevents the spread of infection and disease. But also it stops odor developing and if this is not checked their sex life will be affected. Nevertheless, you don’t have to be 100 percent compatible in order to make a long-term relationship work. But hygiene is a very important area that you’ll find it beneficial to have partner compatibility.

Both of you will have greater smooth sailing the more attributes you share or have close in common. And the less stress your relationship has in its natural state, the more the two of you will work together in harmony to support one another during those greater times of stress that life will inevitably throw at you.



  1. I hope readers react positively to this post, thank you for putting this info out. Interesting enough my now soon to be ex told me about 3 years ago that I had never offended him in the sense of intimacy/hygiene. I found the comment odd at the time but certainly appreciated it. Now that I am facing going out in the field I think about this often and know I wont be able to settle for anything less than pride in good hygiene from a lover/partner.

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