As one woman said, “Our relationship is that much more secure after make-up sex, in addition to the added relief of being reconnected to my closest companion. It’s a reminder that even though we can hurt each other, we’re still there for each other.”
Make-up sex is wild and extremely gratifying sex that people report having experienced after having had an intense fight. Why, in the wake of having had a bitter fight, is everything forgotten while the couple engage in what many say is amazingly wild and enjoyable sex? And why is breakup sex similarly so exciting?
The basic explanation for the excitement in make-up sex is the transfer of the arousal state from one situation to another. When we are excited by one stimulus, we are likely to be easily excited by another one. Make-up sex is considered by many to be the best sex there is, which in many cases is worth the fight.
The arousal transfer can arise not merely from negative emotions, such as the anger that prevails during fights, but also from positive emotions, such as enjoying a good dinner together or engaging in other pleasurable experiences. It can also be activated by sexual arousal that is triggered by another person, such as a good-looking neighbor or the hero in the movie, and that is then transferred to your own partner. As Rodney Dangerfield said, “Last time I tried to make love to my wife nothing was happening, so I said to her, ‘What’s the matter, you can’t think of anybody either?’”
Emotions are very dynamic and contagious phenomena: they can easily spread from one person to another. Thus, when we see a sad person crying, many of us become sad as well. When someone loves us, we are more likely to love that person in return. And when we are aware of a sexually aroused person near us, we become horny as well.
Make-up sex should be allowed to “work on our minds” and do its magic. In other words, it should serve as a powerful reminder of why a couple is together in the first place. It not only has the power to spark the memory of our early, passionate, sexual encounters, but it can serve to remind us that this person, with whom we occasionally argue, is indeed someone worth fighting for. This realization is enough to start us on the path to (sexual) healing.
Make up sex is perfect for you if you love aggressive sex. Maybe he’ll grab your hair while kissing you, or maybe you’ll push him on the bed to be on top. You both have built-up anger and frustration that you’re letting out through sex. The sex might become so wild that you’re both trying new positions or BDSM. However, rough sex is healthy and sexy and doesn’t have to follow a fight.
Breakup sex (“one for the road”) is the bittersweet, passionate sex you have with your partner shortly after, whilst, or shortly before breaking up with them. Some people consider breakup sex is to be even better than makeup sex. The exciting nature of “goodbye bed” sex is due to its unique circumstances: this is the last chance to enjoy sex with each other.
“It’s like the day before a diet. Tomorrow I’ll start, but today I’m going to enjoy one last order of chicken wings.”