Keep your sex life rockin’ after kids come knockin’

Sexual intimacy is vitally important to a marriage. It creates romance, passion and spark. It’s one of the only things you share with your spouse that you don’t share with anyone else. It’s a special connection that only the two of you can have. When children come around, and you’re not having sex as frequently as you used to, it’s no wonder couples have marriage problems.

It’s important to have realistic ideas about what a healthy sex life is, it won’t always be passionate and intense, and the frequency will ebb and flow throughout your relationship. If you accept there’s no right or wrong way to be sexual, and you and your partner are open with each other about when you’re feeling it and when you aren’t, then you will have a healthy sex life.

Relationship satisfaction fuels attraction, paving the way for better sex, the research suggests. So if you’re into your partner, your sex life is probably in good shape. Touch each other often. Have a good connection around non-sexual physical touching, hand holding, kissing hello & goodbye, laying together, sitting on the couch next to each other.

Sex does not need to stop after marriage or kids. By initiating mixing up the script you take ownership of pleasure and eroticism in your marriage. Nothing is hotter than feeling desired and having a partner who takes charge of the sexual relationship. With children around, sex can’t be as spontaneous as it used to be. There’s a greater risk of being interrupted, get creative about where and when to do it.

You still care for each other; Sexually active people take fewer sick days. People who have sex have higher levels of what defends your body against germs, viruses and other intruders.

Sex improves a woman’s bladder control; a strong pelvic floor is important for avoiding incontinence, something that will affect about 30% of women at some point in their lives. Good sex is like a workout for your pelvic floor muscles. When you have an orgasm, it causes contractions in those muscles, which strengthens them.

Men who had sex at least twice a week were half as likely to die of heart disease as men who had sex rarely. Your body changes as you age. As a result, your spouse may not feel as attractive as they did before kids. When your spouse doesn’t feel sexy, they don’t feel as excited for sex. Reassuring your spouse of your affection helps them to feel loved, cared for, and attractive.

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