Relationships during holidays and how to make them last
Relationships are hard. Finding somebody you want to spend time with can be difficult enough, but once that happens, you’ve got to deal with the task of maintenance: keeping things fresh, finding time for each other, and generally just coming up ways to navigate the tricky ups and downs every partnership faces.
Ah, the holidays. ‘Tis the season to move into the relationship danger zone. We get so stressed out about buying the right presents, staying within our holiday budget, or trying to please impossible in-laws that the tension inevitably spills over into our love lives.
It’s not uncommon during the holidays for to be so busy with parties, presents, meals, shopping, decorating, and every other form of hoopla that relationships with significant others take a serious hit. A variety of indicators—such as reported holiday breakups (pre-, post-, and during), an uptick in relationship status changes on Facebook after holidays, or divorce lawyers’ phones ringing off the hook in January. However, just as much as planning ahead will enable you to handle all the shopping and cookie-making, it can also help you to troubleshoot any potential relationship drama—and nip it in the bud before you’re tempted to put coal in your guys stocking.
The most common mistake people in relationships make around the holidays? Having expectations that are too high—and not voicing them.
Couples who devote time to one another at least once a week on dates are more likely to have high-quality relationships and less likely to divorce. Couples who spend more time together also report higher levels of communication, sexual satisfaction, and commitment
When participants in one relationship study were asked, “What two things do you like best about your relationship?” they mentioned small words and gestures. Thoughtfulness of the way the gift was presented and its meaning more than the gift itself. Get your partner’s car washed, make them breakfast, rent their favorite movie from the library, or put a sweet note in their wallet. Rather than buying the exact blue robe requested, give an unexpected gift. When partners do small, everyday gestures of kindness for each other and engage with positive intention and presence, they “grow their emotional bank account,” which acts as a source of stability and resiliency that protects them from the negative effects of conflict and stress
Take a few days apart. Missing each other is a great way to reconnect.
Create a checklist.
Stop and appreciate all that your relationship is this very second.
Revisit the questions you asked in the beginning.
Find 10 things you really love about them and tell them.
Get over needing to be right.
Take care of yourself.
Know what you need and then ask for it.
Take a class. It’s proven that couples who learn together connect deeper.
Stop living for what it can be. This person is choosing to be in your life every day, not every day in the future.