Sex is supposed to be a pleasurable experience, but it’s hard to feel sexy or intimate with your partner when you have sexual performance anxiety. When you’re constantly wondering, “Am I doing this right?” “Is my partner enjoying this?” or “Do I look fat?” you become too preoccupied to enjoy sex.
Constant worry over your appearance or ability in bed can make sex stressful and nerve-wracking. It can even make you want to avoid having sex. Sex is more than just a physical response. Arousal is tied into your emotions, too. When your mind is too stressed out to focus on sex, your body can’t get excited either.
Your state of mind can have a big impact on your ability to get aroused. Even if you’re with someone who you find sexually appealing, worrying about whether you’ll be able to please your partner can make it impossible for you to do just that.
Sexual performance anxiety isn’t diagnosed as often in women as it is in men, but it can affect arousal in women, too. Anxiety can prevent women from getting lubricated enough to have sex, and it can take away the physical desire to make love.
Anxiety can take both men and women out of the mind-set needed to have sex. When you’re focused on whether you’ll perform well, you can’t concentrate on what you’re doing in bed. A distracted lover is an inattentive lover, which can make you feel like even more of a failure. Even if you are able to get aroused, you may be too distracted to reach orgasm.
Sexual performance anxiety leads to a perpetual cycle. You become so anxious about sex that you can’t perform, which leads to even more sexual performance anxiety. Don’t wait until the problems persist causing more strife in the relationship. Most importantly, take it easy on yourself. Don’t beat yourself up about your appearance or ability in bed. Get help for sexual performance anxiety so you can get back to having a healthy and enjoyable sex life.