Sex Therapy Taboo but most needed

Sex therapy helps couples talk about sex with each other. A sex therapist feels comfortable talking about sex. While nothing is off-limits and nothing is taboo to talk about, most people have trouble bringing up anything to talk about when it comes to sex. Sex therapy gets to the problem. Couples often can’t solve these intimate issues on their own because disappointment, hurt, anger, resentment, accusations, inhibition, and several rounds of fighting might have shut down the very discussion most needed. Sex therapists have hope. I’ve been a sex therapist for over 15 years and a marital therapist treating sexual problems for many years and have treated thousands of couples.

Workshop for Couples

This workshop serves to help couples explore their relational difficulties in a safe environment, while learning how to work together to heal their relationship.Participants will discover the enjoyment of working together using Melissa Jane’s revolutionary model. Couples practice how to address painful issues utilizing boundaries and improved communication, and building on existing strengths within the coupleship. New rules of engagement are introduced. Vulnerability is encouraged. Exploration of embroiled patterns stemming from family of origin are examined reducing shame and aiding in the release of those behaviors.

Facilitated by Melissa Jane, sex therapist and relationship expert from America.

The couples workshop is designed to introduce you and your partner to the power of communication and bonding in your life and give you all the skills that you will need to better understand each other to live blissfully together. Communication is the key of this workshop and will leave you feeling positive about your relationship. It will give you positivity that can dramatically change how you and your partner relate to each other through communication and understanding.

You will receive the tools, knowledge and guidance to help transform even the most difficult aspects of your relationship into opportunities for growth, healing and joy. The workshop is for couples who want to repair and rebuild the love and intimacy they have lost or to reignite the sparks once again. It is designed to be interactive and you are encouraged to comunicate freely and ask any questions that you might have. If you have any questions or concerns regarding this, please email me so I can answer them accordingly.

Details:

1. We work on addressing underlying hurts and issues that get triggered and create disconnection

2. The workshop helps you to find new ways to process through the hurts and make the disconnection an vehicle for intimacy and new levels of love.

3. The underlying focus of the workshop helps couples to find safe ways to communicate about emotional needs.

4. This workshop helps to bring to awareness the ways that our early life experiences affect our relationship with our love partner.

5. Participating in this workshop opens up powerful insights and provides new knowledge about ways to reclaim positive love connections.

Advance registration is required, please email: sexologybkk@gmail.com for booking.

Family Structures

Today,  family structures are a bit different, or should I say more types as it was when I was born. How is it to become a part of a already set family? Become a step parent? Getting step siblings and become one?

• Nuclear Family. The nuclear family is the traditional type of family structure. …
• Single Parent Family. The single parent family consists of one parent raising one or more children on his/her own. …
• Extended Family. …
• Childless Family. …
• Step family. …
• Grandparent Family.

What happens in a family with different cultures. When language might differ and you can’t communicate properly.  When your spouses family take a bigger part in your daily life than your culture is used to.

This might work for a while, you are saying yes to a little too much in the honeymoon phase, or it might be some kind of miscommunication.

You didn’t really mean that step parents should move in, but rather you meant they come and visit often and might have their fixed room.

Relatives kids are moving in and become a part of your family while your financial situation burden becomes heavier and heavier.

You are not super keen that your spouse is best friends with his or her ex. They are doing “things” for their kids, together.

A romantic relationship is one of the closest we have as humans. Choosing a partner and staying together through life’s twists and turns is rarely simple. When we choose to get married and raise a family together, unsurprisingly this only adds to the complexity.

 

The overall aim of couples counseling is to help you do the following:

• Understand how external factors such as family values, religion, lifestyle and culture affect your relationship.
• Reflect on the past and how it operates in the present.
• Communicate in a more constructive way.
• Learn why arguments escalate.
• Negotiate and resolve conflicts where possible.
• When sex is a duty and not an act of love anymore.

When the honey-moon phase is over, and all these issues start to bug you, don’t wait. You must talk and clear it out. Sometimes when the love is strong but something feels wrong, you will probably need a family counselor who can help you communicate and address the issues in a positive and healthy way. A relationship counselor will help you to explain and come to a conclusion (hopefully) to make your life work. Even the kids need to speak up and tell their point of view.  To set up a new family is far from easy, but most of the time, it is definitely worth it.

The Benefits of Couple Counseling

Couple’s Counseling serves to help couples explore their relational difficulties in a safe environment, while learning how to work together to heal their relationship.

You will discover the enjoyment of working together using Melissa Jane’s revolutionary model. Couples practice how to address painful issues utilizing boundaries and improved communication, and building on existing strengths within the coupleship. New rules of engagement are introduced. Vulnerability is encouraged. Exploration of embroiled patterns stemming from family of origin are examined reducing shame and aiding to liberate those behaviors.1. We will work on addressing underlying hurts and issues that get triggered and create disconnection
2. Melissa Jane will help you to find new ways to process through the hurts and make the disconnection an vehicle for intimacy and new levels of love.
3. The underlying focus of the workshop helps couples to find safe ways to communicate about emotional needs.
4. This helps to bring to awareness the ways that our early life experiences affect our relationship with our love partner.
5. You and your partner will open up powerful insights and provides new knowledge about ways to reclaim positive love connections.
Melissa Jane
https://sexologybkk.wordpress.com/

Emotional Affairs

It’s a scenario that happens all the time: You’ve met a new friend or co-worker and you instantly feel a connection. The two of you just click and soon, the text messages are flowing freely. You’re cracking inside jokes, you’re very subtly flirting and you’re thinking about him or her all the time.

It sounds like the start of a very promising new romantic relationship. The only problem? You’re already in a relationship — and it may instead be the start of an emotional affair. An emotional affair generally starts innocently enough as a friendship. Through investing emotional energy and time with one another outside the marital relationship, the former platonic friendship can begin to form a strong emotional bond which hurts the intimacy of the spousal relationship.

For some individuals, the most hurtful and painful consequences of an emotional affair is the sense of being deceived, betrayed, and lied to. Any part of one’s life that is essentially kept a secret from a partner is dangerous to the trust between spouses. An emotional affair is when a person not only invests more of their emotional energy outside their marriage, but also receives emotional support and companionship from the new relationship. In an emotional affair, a person feels closer to the other party and may experience increasing sexual tension or chemistry.

If you believe that a person’s emotional energy is limited, and if your spouse is sharing intimate thoughts and feelings with someone else, an emotional affair has developed. Although cheaters are often guilt-free in an emotional affair because there is no sex involved, their spouses often view an emotional affair as damaging as a sexual affair. Much of the pain and hurt from an emotional affair is due to the deception, lies, and feelings of being betrayed.

If you are finding something in this “friendship” you are not finding with your partner, talk about it openly. Give your partner a chance to address these missing pieces so that your emotional depth and intimacy as a couple can be rejuvenated. Couples counseling may be necessary for you to express what has been lacking in the marriage and for you both to move into a phase of mutual and respectful growth.

Many who have found themselves in an emotional affair have told me they didn’t seek it out, but rather that “it just happened.” In retrospect, they acknowledge that there were danger signs that they ignored along the way, especially as the contacts became sweeter and more furtive. Increasing secrecy is certainly a red flag. Another is looking forward to the specialness of contact with this other person more than the daily-ness of being with your partner. It turns out that feeling understood on the level of the soul is far more sexy than sex itself. Restoring such excitement to the marriage is the best recourse for those who want to go on enjoying the privilege of having a partner throughout life.

If you recognize yourself in the descriptions above, the good news is you haven’t taken the relationship to a physical level yet. You can press pause on your budding quasi-relationship, disengage and work on your actual relationship.

Only after you address the weaknesses in your relationship can you bring stable footing to your relationship and start infusing it with the love, attention, appreciation, and affection you and your partner both deserve.

Relationship and Couple Counseling

Couple Counseling serves to help couples explore their relational difficulties in a safe environment, while learning how to work together to heal their relationship.

You will discover the enjoyment of working together using Melissa Jane’s revolutionary model. Couples practice how to address painful issues utilizing boundaries and improved communication, and building on existing strengths within the coupleship. New rules of engagement are introduced. Vulnerability is encouraged. Exploration of embroiled patterns stemming from family of origin are examined reducing shame and aiding in the release of those behaviors.

1. We will work on addressing underlying hurts and issues that get triggered and create disconnection
2. Melissa Jane will help you to find new ways to process through the hurts and make the disconnection an vehicle for intimacy and new levels of love.
3. The underlying focus of the workshop helps couples to find safe ways to communicate about emotional needs.
4. This helps to bring to awareness the ways that our early life experiences affect our relationship with our love partner.
5. You and your partner will open up powerful insights and provides new knowledge about ways to reclaim positive love connections.

Melissa Jane
sexologybkk@gmail.com

Friday, casual sex day

It’s Friday. Make it simple, just forward the picture to your loved one. 

Happy Friday 

Too Much Love Can Kill A Relationship

Can you ever love someone too much? As exciting as a new relationship can be, smothering a lover with your affection will do more damage than good. Contrary to love stories, chick flicks and epic poems, there is such a thing as loving someone too much. If you do not know when to stop smothering someone, you run the risk of pushing your newfound love away.

Many people are addicted to loving too much and smothering a partner without even realizing it. And while they do this, they ignore all the warning signs, and are completely taken off guard when their partner leaves them. You need to remember that as exciting as being in a new relationship is, you have to watch your step. Although there is nothing wrong with showering your partner with love, there is a fine line between being attentive and smothering. Do not be blinded by love and learn to pay attention to the signals. When you constantly cross the line of your partner’s tolerance and annoyance, your partner will probably display telltale signs that enough is enough, and that they need you to back away

Some of these signs include, but are not limited to, pulling disappearing acts on you, making excuses for breaking dates, and as a last resort, breaking up with you! Smothering someone with love does not prove that you love them. Rather, it displays signs of insecurity and selfishness. There is nothing wrong with showering your significant other with your undying love and attention, but crossing that fine line and traversing into the region of smothering is easier than you think.

Many say that the reason they smother their loved ones is because they are afraid of losing them. But almost always, the truth is, the more you suffocate them with love and attention, the further away you are pushing them. When you really think about it, loving someone does not mean you have to breathe down their necks and keep tabs on them every minute of every day. Love is meant to be generous and trustworthy. If you cannot offer your new love these fundamentals, then you are not ready to be in a relationship.

Loving someone is wanting the best for them, even if it means you are not getting what you want. No one wants to lose their freedom. Everyone needs their alone time and “space”. Wing clipping is the act of trimming a bird’s flight feathers so that it is no longer able to fly. Do not do this to the person you love. When you clip their wings, you are forcing them to be tethered to you. By smothering them with too much affection, you are taking away their freedom. This means that they are unable to make decisions without having you burning holes into the back of their head.

By smothering your partner, you are completely disregarding what they want for themselves. You have to give your loved one the chance to be free, even after you are married. This does not mean turning a blind eye to extramarital affairs. It simply means letting them make decisions without the fear of having you coming down hard on them.

Do not place the person you love in a gilded cage because no matter how wonderful it is, it is an inescapable prison that no person should have to live in. Never clip your new love’s wings as nothing good will come out of it. Let them have their freedom and if you are really meant to be, you will be together no matter what.

Smothering someone will stunt, not just the relationship’s growth, but your partner’s growth as well. This is true when it comes to dating someone new, especially if both of you are a young couple. You must give yourself and your partner the chance to be two separate individuals. You have to also give the other person sufficient time and space to accept you into their lives, no matter how much you love each other.

Loving someone means respecting their needs and desires and not forcing your way of life onto another person. Unless your partner is ready to fully accept you into his or her life and change their habits to make room for yours, you cannot break down the door and invite yourself in. Respect your partner’s individuality and do not stunt his or her growth. You have to respect your partner’s wishes and desires and let the relationship healthily grow on its own.

If you smother your new love with something they did not ask for, you will undoubtedly come off as needy and greedy and you can bet your bottom dollar that you will be single again in no time at all. Building the perfect relationship takes time and you have to remember that if you rush things and try to take control of your partner, you will never get the relationship you crave for, as it will forever be stunted.

The last thing that you want to do is to oppress the person you love. You have to give them the independence that every human being needs to make their own decisions and grow into the person they were meant to be. If you try to limit your new love’s ability to make choices, it is only a matter of time before they start realizing that their entire life is a prison and they will do all that they can to break free.

There is nothing wrong with sharing your time with someone else and being a part of life changing decision-making processes. However, there is a difference between forcing yourself onto your new love and giving them the chance to invite you in. Do not stifle your new love’s independence as they will go running for the hills.

Familiarity breeds contempt, and as many couples will tell you, boredom as well. Everyone needs their space. Even old married couples appreciate spending some time away from each other. Absence certainly makes the heart grow fonder as it gives your partner the chance to miss you. Respect and understand that!

Most of the time, people tend to appreciate what they have when they are away from it, and relationships are no different. If you smother your loved one with too much attention and neglect to give them the much needed space and time apart from you, you will inevitably invite in contempt and a sense of boredom. This does not mean that long-term romances are boring. It simply means that the two parties have figured out how to balance peaceful space and love without smothering each other.

If you are with someone new, you will do well to remember that being in a relationship is a delicate balancing act that takes time and effort to master. Give your new love some space and let him have his boys’ night out or her night out with the girls, without the need to come down hard on your partner. Remember that familiarity breeds contempt, so always give each other space and time for friends and hobbies outside of the relationship.

When you smother a new love, you will undoubtedly come off as being needy and desperate, even if you are not. Always remember that no one wants to be in a relationship with someone who cannot stand on their own two feet. You have to take it upon yourself to be independent and prove to not just your new love, but to yourself that you can cope with the responsibility of being in an adult relationship.

Love demands trust and if you cannot give your partner space without having to play 20 questions, you are displaying signs of being insecure. Not just that, you new love will think that you are not able to deal with being alone and that you are terrified of losing them. No one wants to be with someone who comes off as being crazy and needy, so be careful not to smother your partner as it comes off as looking desperate, a totally unattractive quality to have in a partner.

Lastly, as much as you love your partner and love being around them all the time, remember that loving them too much and smothering them will only cripple them. And along the way, you’ll end up crippling yourself too.

Resolving Relationship Conflicts Together

Wanting to throttle your partner from time to time is perfectly normal. But if you’re constantly coming up against the same relationship problem—and most couples do—then you’ll have to get to the root of the conflict if you want to move forward as a happier, healthier, more-connected couple. No partnership is impervious to these patterns, but they can corrode perfectly loving bonds over time, especially if you think your conflict is really about chores, or hygiene, or dirty socks on the bedroom floor. It’s not.

It’s easier to bring someone down than up. True. But you have a choice not to sit under the black cloud with your partner. Most couples in this situation don’t realize how sensitive they are to the other person’s mood—and there can be a false belief that if they don’t descend to their partner’s low energy, they’re not being supportive. In actuality, you need stay up even when your partner is down. That consistency will often pull them out from their slump.

Emotional support for each other is critical. This means giving your partner a feeling of being backed, supported; you’re behind him or her no matter what. This does not necessarily mean agreeing with one another all the time. Realistically, no two people will agree on all occasions. Emotional demands can damage the relationship.

If you find that you and your partner have differing expectations, it makes sense that you will have to make time to talk about them after stating your feelings, wishes, and desires and listening carefully to those of your partner. Decisions that might be easy to make when you’re making them only for yourself might be more difficult when they involve someone else and the best solutions might not be those you think of just on your own.

Discussion and cooperation may not provide any magic solutions to problems, but knowing you and your partner agree about how to approach the situation will relieve at least some of the stress. Relationships change over time. This is neither a good nor a bad thing, but it is a fact. What you want from a relationship in the dating stages might be quite different from what you want after you have been together a number of years. Changes in other areas of your life, outside your relationship, will have an impact on what you want and need from the relationship.

The most important thing is that you need to do a great deal of careful, respectful listening to what each wants, and a lot of careful, clear communication about what each of you wants. Change of any sort tends to be at least a little stressful, yet because it is inevitable, welcoming change as an opportunity to enhance the relationship is more fruitful than trying to keep change from happening. Planning for changes together can lead the relationship into new and exciting places. 

Relationships during holidays and how to make them last

Relationships are hard. Finding somebody you want to spend time with can be difficult enough, but once that happens, you’ve got to deal with the task of maintenance: keeping things fresh, finding time for each other, and generally just coming up ways to navigate the tricky ups and downs every partnership faces.

Ah, the holidays. ‘Tis the season to move into the relationship danger zone. We get so stressed out about buying the right presents, staying within our holiday budget, or trying to please impossible in-laws that the tension inevitably spills over into our love lives.

It’s not uncommon during the holidays for to be so busy with parties, presents, meals, shopping, decorating, and every other form of hoopla that relationships with significant others take a serious hit. A variety of indicators—such as reported holiday breakups (pre-, post-, and during), an uptick in relationship status changes on Facebook after holidays, or divorce lawyers’ phones ringing off the hook in January.  However, just as much as planning ahead will enable you to handle all the shopping and cookie-making, it can also help you to troubleshoot any potential relationship drama—and nip it in the bud before you’re tempted to put coal in your guys stocking.

The most common mistake people in relationships make around the holidays? Having expectations that are too high—and not voicing them.

Couples who devote time to one another at least once a week on dates are more likely to have high-quality relationships and less likely to divorce. Couples who spend more time together also report higher levels of communication, sexual satisfaction, and commitment

 

When participants in one relationship study were asked, “What two things do you like best about your relationship?” they mentioned small words and gestures. Thoughtfulness of the way the gift was presented and its meaning more than the gift itself. Get your partner’s car washed, make them breakfast, rent their favorite movie from the library, or put a sweet note in their wallet. Rather than buying the exact blue robe requested, give an unexpected gift. When partners do small, everyday gestures of kindness for each other and engage with positive intention and presence, they “grow their emotional bank account,” which acts as a source of stability and resiliency that protects them from the negative effects of conflict and stress 

 Listen.

Take a few days apart. Missing each other is a great way to reconnect.

Create a checklist.

Stop and appreciate all that your relationship is this very second.

Revisit the questions you asked in the beginning.

Find 10 things you really love about them and tell them.

Stop nagging.

Get over needing to be right.

Take care of yourself.

Know what you need and then ask for it.

Take a class. It’s proven that couples who learn together connect deeper.
Stop living for what it can be.  This person is choosing to be in your life every day, not every day in the future.